The Rebel
by horseaholic
Summary: In December, 1928, Edward and Carlisle have a somewhat heated discussion about Edward's disliking being a vampire, before his rebellious period begins. Carlisle/Edward friendship. Oneshot. My first Twilight fan fic. Please R&R!


Standard disclaimers apply. I own nothing but the plot idea. Everything else belongs to Stephenie Meyer and any affiliates. If I _was _Stephenie Meyer, then I honestly wouldn't be here, I'd be skipping college to travel the world with my fortunes, haha.

This is my first Twilight fan fiction, so please be nice. :) I have never written Twilight fan fiction before and I'm anxious to see how this one-shot will be received. It is a somewhat heated conversation between Carlisle and Edward, right before Edward leaves to embark on his rebellious period, which, from his explanation in Twilight, started ten years after Carlisle turned him (so 1928) and lasted a few years (which, in my mind, is three, so until about 1931). Just to clarify.

* * *

**Rebel**

**Chicago, 1928, Carlisle's P.O.V.**

Sitting at my desk in my study one night in mid-December, I looked up to see Edward standing in the doorway, leaning against the door frame, watching me.

"Do you have a minute?" he asked me.

"I have the rest of eternity," I said pleasantly, smiling. "What's on your mind?"

Edward stood up straight and entered my office. His expression changed from distant, pondering, to frustrated, lost.

"I'm... frustrated," he began slowly.

"Sit, make yourself comfortable," I said, in the same pleasant tone. Edward sat. "You're frustrated, what with?"

"I just feel... like we're erasing what we really are,' Edward said.

"Why do you feel that way?"

"Really, Carlisle, are you honestly asking me that?" Edward asked, stunned.

I raised my hands in a neutral motion. "Honestly," I said. "I'm simply helping you explain further."

"We're monsters," he said. He stared at me. "How can you stand living like this?"

"Centuries of practice," I said. "Knowing I'm doing the right thing by being a 'vegetarian' vampire, by not impacting the human race with my lifestyle choices."

"But it doesn't change who we are," Edward said. "We are still monsters."

"No, it doesn't change who we are, but doesn't it make you feel better about it, that we are taking positive actions not to be monsters?" I asked him.

"No," Edward replied firmly. "There is nothing that will ever change who I am, what I've become."

"I'm sorry you regret this so much," I said, looking at him sympathetically. "I wish it was easier for you. Each new vampire adjusts differently, but I've seen it's been the most difficult for you than I've ever seen it. What can I do to help?"

Edward was silent. Then, suddenly, he asked, "Why did you turn me?"

I deliberated for a moment before answering. I wasn't sure why he hadn't asked before, why he never wondered why I had chosen this life for him. He had been with me ten years now.

"It was your mother's dying wish," I answered finally. "She begged me to do for you what I could not for her. She begged me not to let you go, not to let you die. And I was also very lonely," I admitted, a little ashamed of how my selfishness had affected the man I had come to see has my son. "I had no one here. My only friends were the Volturi in Italy. You became my companion."

"So you created me to be this…this monster, so you wouldn't be lonely?" Edward asked, aghast. "Is that why you created Esme, because I wasn't pleasant enough company for you?"

I shook my head.

"I turned Esme to save her life," I said, "because where she resided at the time, society's view of what she should become was weighing her down, holding her back. She was young, beautiful, kind and gentle, yet she had a sense of adventure and a fiery spirit I had never seen before in my 260 years at the time. I loved her from the first moment I laid eyes on her. It pained me so much to turn you both, since I knew it was excruciatingly painful for you both to turn, but I knew it would eventually end. You know of the wolves' imprinting. My feelings for her were like that, in a sense. I could not live without her. That feeling has not changed in the slightest."

"So, basically, once you have decided you wanted someone in your 'family', they have no choice. They are in it whether they want to be or not?" Edward asked angrily.

"You are not only a companion to me, Edward. You have always been a son to us both," I said. I paused, trying to figure out how to ask Edward a question I wasn't sure if I wanted to ever hear the answer to. "Do you not wish to be in this family? If so, what do you want to do? Where do you wish to be instead?"

Edward turned to face the wall of paintings. He crossed his arms over his chest in a defensive gesture. He looked very lost. "I don't know what I want, Carlisle," he said. "I just know I hate being this monster."

"Would it help if you found someone who wanted to be with you, who accepted you completely for who you are?" I asked him, looking up at him.

"I don't think that is possible," Edward said sadly, more broken than I had ever seen him. "Who could ever love a monster like me, when I am driven by my lust for blood?"

"You aren't driven by your bloodlust, Edward, that's what has come from practicing with me," I said. I smiled slightly, feeling as though I was enjoying a private joke. "Tanya has... expressed interest in you..."

Edward grimaced. "Believe me, I know of Tanya's desires," he said, rolling his eyes. "They, however, are not returned." His voice was colder than I'd ever heard it. "Why should I become what you want me to be?"

"Well, look at me," I said. "I am all but immune to any bloodlust, so much so that I am able to be a doctor and save human lives." Edward nodded, but said nothing. "I cannot stop you if you wish to leave this family, as much as I'd like to try. If you choose to leave, I can do nothing about your decision. But think about what you are doing by leaving, before you make a decision."

"What, exactly, would I be doing?"

"Well," I said, thinking of Esme, who, if she knew of this conversation, would be very hurt, yet filled with motherly concern like no other, "Esme especially would be hurt if you left. She would probably miss you more than is possible for anyone else. She embraced you as a blessing in her life. She got to have a son again, even though that human opportunity was taken from her so early, so unfairly."

"So I should cater to what everyone else wants before me?" Edward retorted.

"Of course not," I said, shaking my head. "You have to be your own person. Just don't be quick to do anything rash."

"I've thought about this for long enough," Edward said. "I just need to leave for a while, sort out my thoughts, balance out the monster I am. I'm never satisfied. I need to get out of here for a time."

I nodded. "Well, then, while I cannot stop you, and I won't. I will say"— Edward's eyes flashed to mine— "that going out and 'balancing out the monster in you', which I'm sure means you intend to drink other human's blood, will not make this 'vegetarian diet' any easier, if you ever decide to return. It is best just to start out this way and not have relapses. That's the only advice I can give."

Edward nodded silently.

"Go. Be at peace," was my formal, final answer to him.

Edward nodded, then left the room, slamming the door behind himself.

I looked where Edward had been standing moments before and, in barely a whisper, knowing he could hear me, said, "Be safe."

_So what did you guys think? Please leave me a review to tell me your thoughts. I'm anxious to see how this is received. If you guys have any questions, feel free to PM or email me. Just a quick note, I know Edward can read minds, so Carlisle would not have to say anything; however, simply to make the written story flow better, I'm writing out Carlisle speaking, just to clear that up._

_I have a couple other one-shots planned in mind, of the vampires turning, AU stuff, etc., but no ideas big enough for chapter stories yet. Thanks for reading!_

_Renthead07_


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